Taking Control of Your Inner Voice

All this month I have been discussing the problem of not writing for writers. We discussed first, why we may not be writing, then moved on to what we can do in the space of not writing.

Next, I am taking my inspiration from a podcast episode I was listening to in the shower and like most ideas in the shower, it hit me deep when I heard the guest talk about our inner voice and the story, we tell ourselves. Writing is very isolating, solitary, and often those of us who write find that the person we spend the most time with and the person we talk to the most is ourselves. That was what struck me. They say you are the outcome of the five people you interact with the most. For me, I always counted those five people to be outside of myself, but with this new way of thinking, I would need to include myself in that number.

We often think about our “inner voice” when we are thinking about our self-esteem. When we look in the mirror. But wherever we go there we are. What story do you tell yourself about your writing in general or your quality of writing? Let me share mine with you. I have been known to make comments to myself like, what you do is fluff it has no real value, or I have no business writing a novel when there are real writers out there putting out much better books. I could go on. I have a long history of being my own worst enemy.

The podcast guest went on to say that we need to counter that voice and ask if the statements you say to yourself are kind, useful, true. If you can become self-aware enough to pay attention when those thoughts bounce into our mind and ask these qualifying questions of the statement it can help to not only gain perspective on how we treat ourselves when no one is watching, but it can also help to put that rotten narrative in its place, which is not in your head.

If you have been working as a writer and in the writerly world long enough you meet all sorts of people. One type of people who could stand to give their mind a piece of their mind are the writers who never seem to move forward in their writing. They are always working on the same piece, or they bounce from unfinished project to unfinished project without ever finishing anything. These people may get external encouragement from other writers that their writing is great, or the story idea is very fresh and interesting. Usually, these are the writers who either outright argue with anyone who dares to do this, and is able to give them a list of excuses why they are wrong and why they can’t move ahead in their work, or they get very quiet and just kind of shutdown, because that voice telling them otherwise will not allow them to think it is possible to move forward. They give that internal voice all the power.

I hope you are not one of these writers, because you might be keeping a book away from someone who needs to read it today.

Is your inner voice kind, like your best friend, or cruel and unnecessarily critical of every word you put on the page? If you and your inner voice are in an abusive relationship. Becoming more aware of when you hear that voice and stopping it in its tracks can help. There is power in your words, no matter if your mind thinks so or not!